Choosing to Trust

This is written after a week of “worst case scenario” events, and immeasurable grief.




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❤️life can be trusted❤️

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I know the part of me that can perceive situations through the narrow lenses of expectation and desire. The part of myself that is fully convinced she knows what is good and right and what should certainly happen according to her wishes. The part of me that has all the elaborate and quite beautiful plans for her life, and you better believe that is how it’s gonna go.

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But, that part of me isn’t trusting life, she’s controlling it.

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A lot of “spiritual” and manifesting work I see out here is fanning the flames of personal power and control based desires, that are erroneously out of balance with the Holy nature of surrender and trust.

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Yes, go on attune your frequency to the state of being you wish to live in, this is a fine and helpful practice in our crazy world.

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But, if that is rooted in an ethic of creating the life you desire so that you don’t have to suffer at the hands of the great mystery, well, good luck.

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Because let me tell you straight:

God, the Mystery, Creator, Great Spirit, the Universe, that which has created all of life in existence and beyond, is actually bored with your narrow views of success and happiness, and would like you(me) to get out of the way so the cosmic forces of beauty and divine guidance can flow in the ways that are beyond our understanding and very much for our highest good.

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It is not that we cannot vision for our lives, but that we cannot hold so tightly to that vision that within our grasping hands we are saying “this is all I will accept!”

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This literally tells God that you do not trust anything outside of that experience, and that you cannot surrender your control and Trust that which has birthed beauty since the dawn of time…

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I’m sharing this because this has been my life’s curriculum this week: radical fucking trust.

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Not because there’s proof in the pudding, but because I get to choose! And when life seemingly goes wrong, ends, or shifts outside of that which you’ve become attached to, that does not mean anything is wrong.

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In fact, the only thing that means is that you’re being invited into a greater experience, and expanding into that reality can be a bit bumpy. Im willing to bet with some retrospective, you probably haven’t been led too stray thus far in your life if you’ve learned this epically important skill of trusting beyond your very limited human perspective.

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The thing is, our human perspective is so tiny, soooo conditioned by culture and trauma and genetic imprinting, and is broadly disconnected from the Source of life, which has then created a reality where we now are addicted to controlling it, instead of being in the flow of it.

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We did not create life. We are part and particle of it, a lead in the river of the timeless continuum.

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I sit here in awe at the road ahead of my own life and I tell ya, it’s not easy to rise above the waters of emotion and story and drama and say “ok, thank you, life. I am here to witness this sifting and attune my eyes to see the gift in each moment here.”

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Love you!

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