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An equation for change: E+R=O

We are co-creating our reality with an unavoidable mystery, and when we learn what our role is in this collaboration, we are able to manifest the life we most deeply desire.

Years ago, my mother took me on a Caribbean cruise where we got to train for a week with Jack Canfield (one of the most successful self-help and manifestation teachers, and author of "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books) to learn the embodied skill of manifestation. This was post "The Secret" boom, and not yet into the Joe Dispenza club either, yet the wisdom and practices offered here were very much recycled and timeless wisdom all rooted in personal responsibility and feeling as the pathway to manifestation.

So, why do you all care what I was doing on a boat many years ago? Well, because I recently got covid, and this being my first time, I am had some very important memories of that time re-emerge as I have had to surrender to the circumstances of life in a whole new way. I've been sick before, but Covid seems to be the grand daddy of "take a seat" energy. I am happy to say I am healing up other than a lingering cough. But, the wisdom made it's way in :)

What was this epic remembering? An equation:


Event + Response = Outcome

What happens in life, how you respond, and what the total outcome is and feels like.

In this case, the event is getting covid, the response is my empowered choice on how I wish to respond, and the outcome is the alchemy of those 2 energies. Note here- the "response" is not just what you chose to do with the event, but what you choose to believe, feel, assumptions and meanings you create, the texture of your breath, and so on. Our whole experience is our response!

This may seem simple, but the truth is, that most people forget that they are in a CO-CREATION of their own reality. This co-creation is how we dance with God, and ultimately orient our self along the path of life. We are not pure victims of circumstance, nor are we manifesting our desires with no help from what I lovingly call "they mystery". We are constantly in a response to life, and that is the exact point where we have a say. If we lose our power of "response-ability" then it's all too easy for this equation to become event = outcome, which is a dynamic that many people actually get stuck in.

What I remembered is how liberating it is to employ the power of choice into the response section of this equation, based on the outcome that I desire. First off, we each have to have some sort of a desired outcome, or else we will experience something akin to a leaf floating aimlessly in the ocean. Our desires are pointing us towards our heart's longing, and we must allow ourselves to be oriented towards that if we want to life a fulfilling and purpose driven life .

So then the trick is, we can reverse engineer this equation to be able to "manifest" or co-create the outcome we would prefer, if it's true that we do not get to control the events of life, but only get to choose how to respond to them.

I could have easily been pissed off that Covid ruined my chance to go to this women's gathering I have been planning on going to for years, or, I can choose to respond with curiosity and trust that there is deep healing for me to stay in my space and rest (which if I'm being honest is always good medicine for me). Because wether I went to the gathering or not, I have the same desire for the outcome; to have a beautiful time being inspired by others and deepening my own medicine and communing with the land. This can, and did, still happen because I chose to respond in a way that empowered the outcome to have the same energetics, not just the same narrow visioned specificity.

*Note on desired outcome- this is best to think of as energy, feeling, sensation, not just a specific situation or vision. Our minds can be so limiting if we get too caught in the details, so when we can manifest as feeling and energy, we open ourself up to a much greater potential for that to be met.

To reverse engineer this process, we start at identifying the outcome that we want. Then, asking our self, "what is the response that will support that outcome"? If I responded to getting covid with anger, frustration, and self blame, that would have created a very different outcome. This process to me is a fundamental tool of empowerment.

You see, we are all pretty aware that we do not get to choose or control the events of life. If you're deeply aware and cultivated, maybe you can see how you play an energetic role in many or all of the events and can see the deeper meaning woven into them, but for most people, life does just seem to "happen", and learning how to dance with uncontrollable energy is a skill worth cultivating for sustaining peace and personal power in one's own life experience.

It's all too easy to slide into the temptations of victim mentality, and blame life for "doing this or that to me", but that's a old tired song at this point, and if we really want to live a more beautiful life, and call towards us the experiences that feel nourishing and beautiful, we have to let go of what we cannot change, and take responsibility for what we can.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." - Reinhold Niebuhr

I have heard of a lot of people getting sick recently, and my prayers are going out to our collective human family as we continue to navigate these challenging waters for years on end at this point. It's beyond frustrating and inconvenient and for some, worse. Yet, we cannot change the world, we can only change our self. This is the lesson that keeps coming back around like the cosmic boomerang, and even though it is simple, is it easy....

I write this today to share my wisdom, to offer my gentleness in a time of suffering and confusion, and to remind you each that we are co-creative beings, and when we know what our role really is, the role of clever and clear response, that is the pathway to liberation and actualization. It's time we really practice letting go of the blame game and poor me mentalities, and step bravely into the wild edge of power through embodying this simple awareness as one of the greatest tools we have. Simple is good. No need to complicate the clarity - how does your response to circumstance you can't change create the outcome you desire?

May we all remember the subtleties of our power to create the life we want. And, may our desires be pure in heart and whole in their gifts.

With love,


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