Reinventing New Years Resolutions
It's the basics of Being instead of Doing, but in relation to the largest cultural attempt at making positive change that we have, the good old New Years Resolution.
For me, resolutions have seemed like a game of must making me feel worse about myself for almost, forever. Making big plans yet unable to locate the "willpower" button come January 1st. So I sat with this pattern of letting myself down and went a little deeper. The work I do focuses on implementing healthier habits and discovering what subconscious beliefs are informing them, much more so than focusing on the habits themself. Who are you being at a core level? The answer to this question holds all of the insights to honestly see why and how to accomplish any New Years resolution you may have set in place.
The word resolution actually comes from the meaning to "break into parts" and to "loosen". Resolutions have been tossed on a large pedestal of hungry part-time go-getters to exemplify a set of tasks and moral values that are grandiose to potentially offset the rest of their days spent negating the habits they know are good for them. This is honestly why I am not really that into NYE resolutions as much as I am into "breaking into parts" the goals and habits you are longing to embody. This happens on the daily, the momentary, the mundane, the simple... to me that is the most sacred terrain for real life long transformation.
I have set and missed the mark on most of my resolutions when they were not grounded in a more bit sized practice of "how the hell do I implement this every day" and asking the deeper questions of "why am I not already doing these things?" Yes,I want everyone to make better eating choices, move their bodies in a beautiful and intuitive way, and have a deeper and more intimate relationship with their own truth and power. And the hard truth is, it takes time. It takes compassionate inquiry and self acceptance and playful inner knowing. This is a core model of changemaking that I use in all of my work because it's real and constant, not a one time try.
And the real lesson of the year seems to be that we don’t get to do things different, he have to be different. This is huge! All of the resolutions focus on the doing instead of the being. Where I think that the deeper question is...”who do you need to be to make those habits easy? What kind of you is already doing those things? How does your being influence and integrate what you do?” The focus on being allows us to change the actual way we are, and see how the positively changes our habits. It makes so much more sense to me to work from the inside out, versus trying to change the leaves without changing the tree.
You can see it everywhere. The same you that didn’t implement these healthy habits isn’t going to be the you that does all the sudden now that the pressure is on, and the calandra change feels like a good time to try again.... you have to change, and then your habits will.
And as we move out of the hardest year of our lives, it's clear to see that we probably have a whole heap of resolutions we can't wait to employ. Self care will hopefully become the forefront as we tend to our spiritual wounds and bruised egos and neglected bodies. But if we really do care about restoring balance and wellbeing in our lives and experiences, it must happen on the micro, bite sized, present moment awareness level. It takes breath, patience, and an willingness to see why these habits and tasks have not been implemented yet, I think in that answer lays the potential self sabotageing habits that have always been there, and without diving into that space of truth, most of us will yet again be let down and feel as if our will power is all but unavailable to us as we throw another NYE resolutions list in the garbage and "try again next year".
This looks like small daily practices that are worthy of your celebration when achieved. This looks like letting go of the giant goals and breaking them down into smaller ones so that you feel a sense of accomplishment and joy that you in fact are able to make changes. This looks like one more day of movement a week instead of a new daily discipline. This looks like cutting out a few unhealthy food items rather than going full keto or whole 30 (which can be very triggering and set you back even further). This looks like getting the support you need that focuses on the belief systems that are creating your actions instead of just the actions themselves. This looks like patience, practice, and presence. This looks like a change in the beliefs that inform all of your actions.
What if we didn't make any resolutions, but made a vow to be more engaged with our truth at each moment and act willfully from a place of empowerment within a new way of being instead of a list of projects birthed from obligation and fear... that sounds more like a NYE plan I can get behind;)
Love you all, be easy on yourself ok -